When Chaos Becomes Normal
Here’s the thing. At my much older yet young age, I’ve learned a few things in this life. One being that peace matters more than all the noise the world pulls you into.
Peace can mean different things to different people, and that is OK too. In fact, that’s the saving grace in all of this. Otherwise, we may all find ourselves standing at the top of a summit together surrounded by more noise than what we hiked there for.
There was a time in my life, my younger self, where peace wasn’t even a thought.
My life revolved around working that 9-5… and staying later if needed. It meant running through the airport because I arrived later than the recommended time to settle in for a flight.
Ashamedly, I’ll admit, it also meant showing up late to friends’ invites because I figured, “Why would anyone care if I showed up on time?”
And my commute? Oh, that was just life around here. Sitting in 45 minutes of traffic for what should’ve been a 20-minute drive.
Let’s talk about parenting while I’m on a roll.
It became trying to be the “perfect” mom. You know, the Pinterest-ready mom. The birthday parties with themed cakes, party favors, matching decor… the whole nine yards.
As a single mom, I often felt pressure to become the “fun” parent while still carrying all the responsibility.
Others may find comfort in the noise of daily life like I once did.
Waking your baby at 5am so you’re out the door by 6am when daycare opens, rushing to work, getting the call that your child is sick, leaving work early knowing the workload will still be waiting tomorrow, driving through traffic, squeezing in doctor appointments, getting home to make dinner, and finally trying to work out at 10pm when everyone else is asleep and no one needs you anymore.
Then it’s off to bed where maybe, just maybe, you get 4-5 hours of sleep during those younger parenting years.
You work hard to be viewed as successful. You carry your own workload and sometimes everyone else’s too, all to prove you’re worthy of the raise, the promotion, the recognition.
But at the end of the day, you are exhausted.
At the end of this life, you are exhausted.
Friend, this is where chaos won.
This is where I crashed.
I said no more.
No more to the chaos.
I made one final decision — I choose peace.
What Peace Looks Like to Me Now
Peace for me comes in many different forms.
Sometimes it’s a nervous system reset — that deep breathing you always hear about. Breathe in for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, then exhale for 8 counts.
But hey, when your nervous system is maxed out, sometimes even that isn’t enough to calm the mind and body.
One thing I’ve learned is that your body will tell you where you stand long before your mind ever does. Always trust your body.
Stress can show up in so many ways:
body aches, headaches, lack of sleep, waking up at 2-3am, a racing heart, sickness, chest pains, weakness, even depression.
When we stop listening to ourselves, we stop taking care of ourselves.
You know, there’s one person I always think about when it comes to peace and nervous system recalibration: my grandmother.
She passed away peacefully in her sleep at 104 years old.
Friend, that was no coincidence.
She experienced hardship. My grandfather was in the Navy, which meant moving across the country with five young children for years. She experienced poverty. She lived through major world events.
Yet somehow… she remained at peace.
There was never a day I saw her reflect anger onto someone or turn someone away because they were different.
Her favorite thing to do was greet people with warmth and say,
“Oh hi sweetheart. Would you like…?”
Fill in the blank.
She was a beautiful soul.
I firmly believe she lived such a long life because she found what so many of us spend our lives searching for:
peace.
Choosing a Life That Feels Peaceful
These days, peace means being intentional with my life.
I sit outside with my favorite GSD, North, and reflect on what I want for my life, who I aim to be, what I want to share with the world, and how I want to feel — not yesterday or tomorrow, but today.
I want my days to feel meaningful.
I want to be present for them.
Do I get it right all the time? Absolutely not. But that doesn’t stop me from trying.
Protecting My Peace at Work
One of the biggest changes I’ve made is no longer chasing status through work.
My job provides the resources I need to support my family, but it is not my identity and it is certainly not a life sentence.
I chose a position where I get to work independently in a peaceful environment with a long, but quiet commute.
Some mornings, I’m the first person turning on the lights in the office.
And honestly? I love that.
On my drive home, I travel along one of my state’s scenic byways. If you’re not familiar with them, scenic byways are some of the most beautiful and least chaotic roads to drive.
Considering the area I live in, this feels like a hidden gem.
That drive home gives me time to decompress from the day before stepping into my next role: Mom/Momma.
Nature Is Where I Reset
Another way I protect my peace is by spending as much time in nature as possible.
When I left my previous chaotic work environment, one of the leaders there jokingly said,
“I can’t believe you’re leaving a place like this to go hug trees.”
I laugh about it now because that person didn’t realize who I was at my core.
Tree-hugger? Sign me up.
Honestly, it beats the stress and chaos of constant pressure.
Now hear me out — that doesn’t mean someone else’s version of peace is wrong. Some people thrive in fast-paced environments and love that energy.
For me, peace looks different.
I love hiking with North, exploring new places, trying new foods, and being where crowds aren’t constantly gathering.
That doesn’t mean I never enjoy concerts or busy places. I do.
But to feel grounded, I need time in nature.
Out there, nothing else in the world seems to matter.
Finding Myself Outside the Roles I Carry
I also love trying new things.
As a single woman and mother, that often means doing things alone. No plans. No invitations. Just me, myself, and I.
And honestly? Those moments taught me a lot about myself.
What I like.
What I don’t like.
What brings me joy.
What I want my life to look like.
It’s easy to lose yourself inside all the roles we carry:
Mom, Momma, Sister, Daughter, Employee…
But at the end of the day, we are more than the titles we’ve been assigned.
We are human beings with real thoughts, feelings, dreams, and aspirations.
Some of my favorite moments are the quiet ones:
sitting outside journaling with North nearby, listening to the birds sing, watching the trees dance in the wind.
Seriously, it’s one of my favorite parts of my day.
And North doesn’t seem to mind either.
North: My True North
Another thing I love is training and playing with North.
Sometimes we’re in the field behind my home. Other times we’re at the local park.
Sometimes we only play for 10 minutes before North decides she’d rather lay in the grass, chomp at bugs flying near her face, or lift her head toward the wind blowing through her fur with absolutely no care in the world.
I love how deeply she embraces simply being present.
No agenda.
No rushing.
No pressure.
No time limits.
Just us.
Together.
It means everything to me.
I had no idea how much North would change my life until she did.
At just over 7 weeks old, she entered our family and quickly became the center of our joy.
I always say she’s my True North.
Unbeknownst to her, she guided me toward a more peaceful and intentionally lived life.
I couldn’t be more grateful for her soul entering mine.
Writing Is How I Protect My Energy
PIN IT AND SAVE FOR LATER.
